Freitag, 1. Juni 2012

The everyday life of Doctor Frankenstein

... as seen on Twitter.
To be edited and supplemented frequently.

"Master, the creature insists to wear jumpers tonight."
- "Wish I hadn't taken parts of Zuckerberg."

"You really shouldn't wear that hat, dear Monster. You just don't have the faces for it."

"Chicken Nuggets? You know those are just body parts mashed together."
- "Ahem."
- "And that's great!"

"Master, your mobile phone has fully charged."
- "IT LIVES!"

"What a night. I feel absolutely ragged."
- "Right, you tell what that's like, Victor!"

"It's quite hard to read its face. Is that because of the scars?"
- "Nah, I used too much Stallone."

"All I ask is the possibility of love!"
- "Can't you just go back to strangling people or something?"

"The creature has a beautiful singing voice, though. Pavarotti."
- "You mean like Pavarotti."
- "No." 

"I got your nose!"
- "Oh come on, Victor only just reattached that!"

"The creature used my beauty cream again!"
- "Well, the package did say 'for combination skin'."

"It used to hurt me to be called a 'monster', Victor. Then Lady Gaga came and now it's just creepy."

"Another racist murder. Horrible. All this hate because of looks!"
- "Do you think before you talk?"

"Did you make everything about the creature bigger and stronger than in normal men?"
- "Elizabeth!!"

"Victor, you're mixing me all up!"
- "Sorry. I do that quite often, I'm afraid ... no pun intended."

"Women call me a monster, I repel them!"
- "Guess you're just too much at odds with yourselves."

"She took the time to build me up and then just ran off."
- "Shouldn't you be used to that by now?"

"I'm the Adam of your labours, yet you never even gave me a name."
- "I hereby name you Blanket!"
- "..."

"I'm the Adam of your labours, yet you never even gave me a name."
- "I did!"
- "'Fiend' doesn't really classify as a name.

"The creature is whining."
- "Oh, come on! You go this time. I put it to bed already and I'm tired."

"If you wanted to create a supreme being, why didn't you make it look that way? Meaning - not ugly."

"I thought you were here to study!"
- "I am studying."
- "What - monsterology?"

"You know you could have 'made' a human the old-fashioned way with my consent, aye?"
- "Umm ..."

"That is such a classic case of womb envy."
- "Really, Liz? I created life and this is your reaction?"

"Look, monster, I made you something!"
- "A ragdoll? You don't see why that might me inappropriate?"

"I think it's quite sweet. We're like a little patchwork family!

"For Science!"

"I would've given her my heart!"
- "Literally?"
- "Um, no."
- "So I don't need to find you a new one?"

"I'm so lonely. It feels like I'm falling to pieces."
- "Why, did you chew on the stitches again?"

"The creature is acting like a goddamn baby!"
- "Technically, that's appropriate for its age."

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